O Ambition, Where Art Thou?

Anyone can give up; it's probably one of the easiest things there is to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if we decided to step back, that's the mark of true strength.

To be honest this is probably the summary of what I shall and must do in life. There are things that should be accepted as it is. There are also things that if you have courage and willingness to fix and change as you want. Maybe I should re-read this phrase for myself whenever I had too many needs and wants, which are not necessarily available or achievable then and now.

What shall I do and how much effort shall I put depends on how big is my ability to accept what has been given and my willingness to minimize the threshold between "what I want" and "what I could actually get".

To be able to put up with reality, compliant and uncomplaining, handle the dire truth be it failure or unavailability, these are the skill set I’ve been developing all my life. Maybe due to the fact that I’m Indonesian where acceptance is one of the more primordial characteristic.

What I’m wary about is that I might be lulled in the comfort zone on my own and not have the aptitude and the ambition to pick up what's left and really move forward. To actually achieve something that would make me, and all the people around me be proud.

Too long have I been indulged in this so-called secured state, without ever want to risk anything so I won’t have to get out of my cushy sofa. With the salary and fee from side job, my little family could lead life economically. But is that enough? And how much is enough? I still have plenty of time if only there’s more ambition in me, instead of playing Championship Manager, or watching DVDs, browsing neither here nor there, for hours daily. So unproductive.

Living in this current world, where information about opportunity, where other people successes is right in front of you to be followed and even surpassed. It shouldn’t be hard to be more ambitious, or should it?

God please give me the courage to change things that must be changed;
Give me audacity to move forward and valor to accomplish my aspiration;
And the wisdom not to be so conceited to walk on Your earth.